Warning Signs before relationship

bylove 可爱的信仰

Aug 02, 2021 Published

RED FLAGS

Top ways to know that you are not compatible. 

Intro- So, you are now in a loving relationship with the girl/boy of your dreams. Congratulations! Really, enjoy it. Until a few things emerge along the way, little hiccups that you probably would not notice, some small arguments here and there. Then both of you realize that these minuscule disagreements collectively have grown to be more than both of you can chew. A collection of hazards and hassles that both have a strict rule of the preverbal no return no exchange policy. More or less, you are stuck together, like that dream job you thought you always wanted, and when you actually got it… It’s not what you expect. To elaborate further, in this cesspool of uncertain rigorism, here are some of my personal examples, of why it’s ok to just let go and call it quits… while you still can.        

    Both of you see things differently- Finally, the ultimate contrast to your conjoined fractality of a seemingly repudiating relationship. This is the be all and end all of the heart of things to be. Opposing viewpoints. Both of you are just too different, polar opposites. If it arrives on this weary road where all relationships dread to travel, I am sorry to say, that this is probably the end. Unless of course the both of you take on this preverbal giant of a mountain to climb, and actually reach the top. That is all well and good. You know what they say… What doesn’t kill you…   

    A difference in taste- One likes fast food, the other is into saving the world, vegetarian vs carnivore. He loves emo music, she’s into jazz, he favors action movies, she thinks it’s too machismo, he likes dogs, she avoids them like the plague. Are just some examples of a difference in taste. One could say that it might not seem to have that much bearing, in a category of shallowness. Having different opinions on the subject at hand, can have frivoling, to utter ground breaking disastrous love quarrels, as to simple hankering, like which movie to watch on a weekend after long days of work, could spell emanating doom for your jim-dandy connection. We all know that a collection of little contretemps, if left unchecked and unresolved, can accumulate to ginormous proportions, which might be too large of a problem to deal with. If this is something you notice, but doesn’t bother you that much… yet. Maybe there is someone of a better fit for you out there still.  

     Space is not always good- Distance will always play a part in a relationship that needs to flourish from the very get go. If that gap that spans a few cities away poses a problem from the start, you may want to rethink things before pushing further into the relationship. Although this is not always the case. Some of us have experienced long distance travel once in our lives, for that special someone, albeit not always out of town or another country, it may be hard, time consuming and in some cases expensive, yet we are ready to face that obstacle head on… well auspiciously in the beginning, until the hardship of it all, gets heavier in time, like unnecessary baggage. Things can work though; this is not a strict rule of unfortunate events. What usually happens, one of the parties involved, compromises, as   to move to a closer vicinity, or has the constant persistence of travelling from to and fro, for them to be together. This has long term repercussions.  So from the very get go, it would be wise to address this fact faster, the sooner the better for the relationship to flourish without so much hassle in the guise of distance. 

    We are always busy- Work is a great thing to have, it can give you that moral boost and confidence, but in the context of a relationship that is trying to blossom, too much work can prove to be a poison than a fertilizer for your flowery vegetation of love and romance. Balancing work and play have been the cornerstone of most lives that can trickle down to a fistulous relationship. It would be more auspicious to be in a position of somewhat authority in your company you work in, if you are trying to build a relationship with your special someone, but when work gets in the way, disaster usually follows. We have seen it in movies and books, the hard worker has a demanding job, which takes most of his/her time that can jeopardize a connection that could very well be in its infancy. Dichotomy is what you are in, if this is you. Maybe it’s time to make an early choice. 

     I don’t trust you- In the realm of a blossoming relationship, is what you say to someone you actually care about, surprisingly so, the negative connotation of distrust harkens back to an actual point that you cared, even if it was in small doses. Having this problem affect you has bearing on caring for the connection you have or you thought you had. But when this major piece of the puzzle is so far lost that you have no idea where in the world to place it. We can safely say that this could be a clear example of something you might have to let go of. A relationship built on neurosis and fear is a definite bomb that’s just waiting for the timer switch to turn on. In an early state in the partnership at hand, maybe it’s best to rethink things, space usually helps, but we all have been there, a connection so strong that you can’t let go. But if this thing you have has so many questions, that leads to distrust, it might just not be worth the investment in time, pain and ultimately suffering. 

Outro- There you go, my personal take on things to look out for, my insight on relationships, and the red flags that are there to serve you as a warning. Think of it as a wickedly weird kind of guardian angel, that whispers wisdom of caution and care for oneself. But then again you know what they say, what doesn’t kill you… Good luck.