Forget the Past
Don’t forget you might regret
Regret is pain you don’t forget
This article is somewhat of a confession, a personal note, and could probably be some sort of a light hearted warning to those who are in a relationship, stuck in a love rut, or deciding to get out of one, but before you read on please make sure that you leave all the judgments out the door, because what is written herewith includes regrets that can be attributed to a fair amount of mistakes that I have made in my love life a few years back, within the writing of this article.
For some writers, we tend to pour our hearts out to what we snare on the page, and for some, it could be as blatant as exposing your very heart and soul for the world to read, if and when it gets published. Nonetheless, we give some of our selves, a small part of our unfounded life-force for willing readers to absorb and take to heart if they feel the need to. So in this regard, let us delve into the subject at hand, which is forgetting that could slowly creep up into a conscience-stricken regret.
If your relationship is as steady now as can be, like a well fastened basketball court, then this would be easy for you to picture in your head, if not; try to imagine a situation, in which your relationship is thriving well with your significant other for a few years now. As things are smooth as can be, albeit having some fights in between, but nothing so severe that can’t be fixed with a few laughs and a good movie after, then we can clearly say that things are all good and dandy. In this time of peace, and a straight road ahead, one can be so careless into getting complacent, and this is where things can go down the drain. As much as your love life now is as close to perfection, one can get blinded by that fact, thus neglecting important things that have flew over your head.
Complacency is the killer to it all. Taking things for granted is a flaw that most of us have, and is a deficiency that someone in that situation could barely detect, if not totally blinded by it, as we feel that our current partner have given his/her heart wholly, and would never even think of any possibility of a separation. This dear reader is exactly what happened to me, as I was that person, to bestow a half-truth faulty ridden judgment to my relationship and my partner. As complacency has taken over my mind and body, and the harshness of it all is as un-denying as rain falling from the sky. I have gone to a total recoil of my feeling towards my partner, and felt that to whatever happens, be it my doing or an uncontrolled situation, there is nothing that would sway my partner from my unabridged grasp of our/my situation.
I lost that feeling. And so I thought. And to make things worse she has tried many times a plenty to reach out and to actually fix things, since our relationship would get rocky and sour in the later part. This mind you had nothing to do with any external problems, this was all inner issues that stemmed from the deadly hands of complacency. I thought the same, but felt the opposite. I took things completely for granted, our relationship and the good connection we had.
Eventually our relationship headed to a steady decline, a downpour of arguments have riddled our connection and blinded me from seeing what was real. I knew that our fights were as hollow as an old empty water drum, yet I throttled on to find weak spots that I could utilize as a tool to dislodge any remnants of hope that would help heal our dividing closeness, and to what could have been a great and long lasting connection. Eventually we ended things as both of us got tired of all the fights until we just faded out form our platform of propinquity. And one day… it was over.
For a while I felt good, free and totally in control of my life. I justified everything that I decided on, made myself think and feel that everything happened for the right reasons. But the truth is, I was being self-centered and self-absorbed, things I felt at that point were going my way, and for the most part after my break up it all felt right. I never resented my ex, there was absolutely no reason for; even for a little bit of bitterness towards her, she did everything right in my book. Yet I just didn’t want to be in a relationship for the fear of getting tied down. So as soon as I certified myself for finally being single, I started dating. One date after another I rode the single life as much as my old feet can tread. And the day came that I just realized that I still wasn’t happy. As loneliness started creeping up on me, the foreboding idea of regret, and the feeling of emptiness engulfs me inside. A stirring feeling that I may have lost the one person that I really have connected with, to which that person on all accounts would have completed me.
Regret is a heavy feeling. All the bad things I did to her came crashing back at me like a hailstorm, hitting me on the right places where it hurt. As I say to you dear reader, head this cautionary tale of forgetting to give what you can for that relationship. Forgetting that there is a person that you should have done well with, gave back the support given, and told her/him all the things they deserved to hear and feel. There are things in this world that are unabridged, sturdy and the proper fit, we just sometimes (in my case most of the time) fail to notice these attributes of an individual that would have loved you for the rest of your life.
As time heals all wounds, do not fret for me, ass I have met someone that has so far given me an ample supply of happiness, yet the stirring feeling of regret still looms like a dark cloud ready to unleash it’s tears. The regret I now feel is more likely linked to the bad things I have done in the past, the mistreatment and misunderstanding, the times that all she wanted to hear was a “I am always here for you’ or “I love you.” Forgetting some important moments and thinking that it was not much of a big deal, yet for that person it most probably was.
Forgetting important things in a relationship is a road one should walk slowly in. It is probably best to figure out ways to deal with trials and tribulations with your special someone, especially if that someone is willing to go the distance with you. And if your relationship gets to toxic for your sanity can take, it might be best to step away for a while and stay outside whilst looking in.