Is my partner a keeper?

bylove 可爱的信仰

Aug 11, 2021 Published


Is my partner a keeper?

So you have been seeing this person for a few weeks now, and things have been great so far, you feel that sometimes you’re walking amongst the clouds and it’s definitely an awesome feeling, you have managed your time from work, family and your hobbies in accordance to that special someone that feels like the center of your universe as of day 1, when she/he said those magical words, in which every person that is longing for a serious relationship craves for, those three words…  “I love you,” and if you’re in that position of the level of your dating life as of the reading of this article, then by all means celebrate that fact my friend. As much as we all value and strive for a smooth and utterly infallible relationship, sadly we can’t have it all, but don’t get me wrong, I am for a long and lasting dating life with that special someone, but like anything and everything in the world, nothing is perfect, there are usually and almost consecutively problems that will happened as sure as the sun will rise the next day, yet in every sunset there is a sunrise, so do not fret, things always turn out the way it should, the universe has a mysterious way to place things somewhat in order. Yet we can’t help but think and assume that she/he may be the one, the person you are going to spend your whole life with, if not at the very least a fourth of your lifetime. But how can we be sure that person is the right one for you? How do we find out, or at the very least have some sort of gauge to have a good deciding factor to keep and work on your existing relationship, or move on, stay single for as long as it takes, until the right one comes along. 

Here are some IDEAS and points to ponder on that oh so difficult question of, “Is my date a keeper?”         

Spends their time accordingly. When a person -   has some serious trust issues, one can’t help but feel stifled, as doubts slowly and surely envelop your relationship, which eventually things would certainly just give in… sometime all too brashly. To that point, maybe it’s time to just move on and call it quits, because a life built with doubt, is surely a life that will always have a fair dose of misery. But on the other side of this proverbial coin, the flipside cannot be more true, in which a relationship built with trust, would most certainly have a positive and long lasting effect on your wellbeing. Trust is by far a cornerstone and an infallible foundation in which your relationship should be built on. One sure way to notice if that person is a keeper, is by feeling a strong sense of freedom yet having that strong bond and connection, despite the fact that he/she is doing her own thing accordingly. That person does not have to check on you every minute and every hour, he/she places their full trust and support in your relationship, and values it like gold.

Show me who your friends are. Most of us are familiar with the saying “show me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” That saying could have some truths into it, as far as one would want to take it, yet you can believe it or not, but the fact remains that in some cases, we won’t really understand or get along with each other’s set of friends. In which case could prove a red flag, a warning that it might not go so smoothly in the long haul, and can place a barrier between a couple, or in worst cases would cause the very break up. But is it really that important? Is getting along with your friends the- be all end all- for a long lasting relationship? I feel that there could be exceptions to that rule. Respect would play a major role in all these. When two people have come to realize that their group of friends might very well be as opposites as the North and South Pole, in that varying extreme would need an ample amount of respect and understanding. And if -   these two attributes are in good supply in your existing relationship, chances are this hurdle or wall could have or have no effect on your dating life with your special someone. Both of you can respect the fact that you can’t be friends with each other’s friends yet, you can be both civil to them when hanging out in group settings. Just remember, you are not dating each other’s friends, you are dating each other.   

-   When we break down. The person you are with can get sappy, over emotional, frustrated, angry, and depressed. That person who gets all of it and understands that this is being human, and could very well be a strong enough gauge to determine a keeper, when mixed with more positive attributes that contribute to the well-being and health of any relationship, on that fact, we can deduce that he/she is a likely candidate for the long haul of companionship. We can only be so lucky. As this person will never in their right mind judge you for any failings you are hurting on, even if you end up lashing out in the world, unleashing all your frustrations, hate and sadness, and sometimes it gets directed into your special someone. Remember that old saying- “We only hurt the ones we love.” Yet, for all the bad times and misery along the way, which in reality is an unavoidable truth, that the good has always a bad counterpart, a yin and yang of life, your special somebody will truly be a gift from heaven if he/she truly understands all the hurt and suffering, and sticks by you no matter what. Of course that person would want the same treatment, so it’s best to practice empathy and compassion, especially for that special person, all in the name of love. 


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