Self- Love

bylove 可爱的信仰

Aug 10, 2021 Published

Ok Alone

Alternative titles: 

  • Alone and happy

  • Surviving and Single

  • Alone and kicking

  • Happy + Alone = contentment  

Ok, now what are you going to do? Your girlfriend just dumped you, and now you feel outlandish amounts of pain and heartaches, you have this isolated and empty feeling like your chest cavity has nothing inside, but a hollow crater of suffering and regret. Yet through this cesspool of emotional suffering and turmoil, there is a silver lining to your dire situation. I know this might sound a bit of a cliché but you’re probably better off alone… unless the breakup was totally your fault hands down with no other glimpse of innocence to back you up, then dear reader, this article might not be for you. But if your part of the majority, living in that grey area on “who’s fault was it” of doubt and confusion, that usually follows a painful separation, then please read on. 

Being alone does not mean that this feeling you have now will last, as we have heard it all before, rest assured time heals all wounds, as you can count on that as fact. Now the goal at hand is to find a way to fast forward to that feeling of; when you are finally healed. I know, easier said than done, granted this mindset could still be a far cry to being whole again, and feeling composed and back to the old you; or even a better version of you, before all this pain went spiraling out of control. If you try, I mean really try to focus all your psychological, and emotional energy into getting that future mindset, it definitely would probably help a lot. Yet again, easier said than done. 

There is a reason that you’re alone. If you believe that you have lost that special someone, that would have given you long lasting happiness and content, you may very well be wrong. Remember that the right person chooses you no matter what, and in your case this obviously did not happened. But do not fret, the reasons will be as clear as glass in time, and your emotional goggles will finally lose its haze, in which case you will be seeing things in your life in 20/20 vision; or as focused as an expensive camera lens. Yet all these take time. The question now remains… how do we fast forward this emotional turbulence and unrest to get to being ok? Here are some IDEAS and insight into this conundrum of hurtful uncertainty.  

  • You and your ex were not really a good couple. As hard for it for some to admit, but it would greatly help if you could mentally list all the humdrum and agitation that your relationship has caused you. Where you really that happy together? Where things as perfect as it seems? Was she/him the best fit for you really? Maybe it’s time to turn a negative into a positive, and start making that list in your head; or better yet write it down on paper, and think of all the bad times and unfavorable attributes your ex had. This is definitely worth a try.

  • You and your ex were always fighting. Many would argue that this up and down roller coaster ride of fights, breaking ups, and getting back together again as quickly as a traffic light shifts colors is considered normal, well; think again. We all know that fights indeed happened inevitably with any relationship, but if the arguments turn out to be extreme that leads to hurtful words that you can never take back, and when breaking up becomes as common as coffee in the morning, then you have dodged that metaphorical bullet my friend, in which case I should be congratulating you in your freedom. You are certainly better off alone more than ever. Rejoice.  

  • Think of all the great things you can finally do by yourself. Yes, you are free! Remember all the hassles your relationship has caused you. You can now go to that dingy cheap restaurant you have always wanted to try but your ex doesn’t. You can now binge watch your favorite shows without any complaints from your significant other. You can now on a whim do whatever and go wherever the heck you want at any time and on any given day. You have total freedom of control of yourself, you now hold your life and responsibility and can fashion it in whatever you desire. You have now more time for the one person you probably have rejected for a while…  You.  

Being alone unquestionably has its merits and its despondency. That’s just how life is. There is bad and good, yet at this moment while you are reading this article, maybe it’s time to really focus on the bright side of things. Being alone at this onset is the favorable choice now. Well you really do not have a lot of options in this case, your only option now is feeling down, lonely and hurt all the time, or focusing your energy at the comforting prospect of being alone. And who knows; the right person might be just around the corner for you, wouldn’t it be better to be available when he or she comes along?